White Blank Page
by LiLy-saLvatore-cuLLen
Summary: James and Lily started with quite a tense relationship; in fact, there was no relationship to be had, just a white blank page. A series of moments in which Lily and James' love blossoms, in sequence with lyrics of Mumford and Sons' song, White Blank Page.
1. Giving Her Your Heart

"**Can you lie next to her, and give her your heart?"**

James rolled off of Lily. His body was sweaty, his muscles trembling- after effects of the exertion he had placed on them within the past ten or fifteen minutes. His red-head lay next to him, panting rather unevenly, a loud gulp in between some of the breaths. James lay on his back, arms above his head as he breathed in wonderful oxygen.

_Wow. That was… the best yet…_

Lily rolled onto her side, draping her arm over James' torso. She kissed his cheek a few times and rubbed her hand up and down James' side.

"That was brilliant, Love." She breathed in his ear.

James let out a breathy laugh.

"You were pretty brill yourself, Lils."

They had made love various times before. There was something quite different about tonight, however. To James, it seemed more needy, passionate and defined. To Lily, it was the milestone in their relationship. This was the time that meant _everything._ It was as if… this was the time that defined their relationship, told whether or not they were forever or just an in-school fling.

Now they both knew.

"What are you thinking right now, James?"

James had been awfully quiet. He rarely fell asleep after sex; instead, they would cuddle and talk about random things. James' silence worried Lily. She felt something in her gut- this was a now or never moment- for both of them.

James took Lily's hand in his and played with her fingers, bringing the tips to his mouth and kissing them.

"Lily… I…"

He took a deep breath.

"You're it. For me. I can't… I can't see myself with anyone but you…"

This was it. The first time he would ever utter these words to any girl.

"…I love you."

Lily's eyes welled with tears.

"James…"

"Forgive me if you think I'm being forward. I just… it needed to get off my chest."

"Look at me, James."

James hesitantly brought his caramel gaze to meet the piercing emerald one that had captured his attention all those years ago, the first time he had seen her on the train.

"I love you, too, James. Don't ever doubt that. I need you in my life. I wish it hadn't taken until seventh year to realize that, but that's just how things go. Don't ever leave me. You're my only."

James thought for awhile. He was ready to finally give his heart away. He had kept it close for so long. He hadn't put it out there for fear of getting it broken by the only thing that mattered in his life: Lily. She had talked him down, refused him, hexed him, and yelled at him for years. When they became Heads together that year, James saw this as the last chance- final opportunity- to win Lily. And he had.

James looked at Lily once again. He smiled- a genuine James Potter smile- and cupped Lily's cheek, bringing her face to his as he kissed her. Lily opened her mouth, deepening the kiss, and James eagerly complied with her demands, slipping his tongue into her mouth. It became even more heated as the moments ticked by, and soon enough, James once again hovered over Lily.

James was finally ready to let Lily own him- all of him- including his heart.

**AN**

Hello! I'm back writing fanfictions, I'm finding more and more time as the semester draws to a close. For those who did not receive the memo in some way or another, _**Timeless **_and _**I Love Him, He Loves Her**_ are on an indefinite hiatus. I have no energy and no interest to continue with them at the moment. Someday, perhaps. But this doesn't mean I give up on FanFiction! Not by a long shot! It takes time for me to get inspired, and "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons gave me some. Do enjoy!

_**LiLy S.C.**_


	2. Bodies and Self Confessions

"…**As well as your body, and can you lie next to her and confess your love?"**

Lily was feeling extremely anxious. She had been waiting in James' dorm for about an hour now. He had yet to come back from… from whatever he was doing.

_What could he be doing at this hour?_

Lily was sitting on the edge of his bed, hands folded tightly in her lap, feet crossed over one another and switching every so often. She glanced at the clock on James' bedside table- 3:45 A.M. Then she glanced out the window. The full moon was completely visible in the cloudless night sky. Lily sighed, and pulled her camisole down as it had begun to ride up on her torso.

She had woken from a nightmare that had her whimpering in her sleep and soaking her with a cold sweat. Her dream had involved a serpentine face, hooded figures with skeletal masks, and a bright green light. She had sat up very quickly as the light in her dream had hit first James, then her. The flash of residual green had met her eyes when she opened them. She realized that she had tears pouring down her face. Instantly, she had kicked off her duvet, and padded down the hall that connected the two Head's bedrooms and entered James' room only to discover his empty bed, still made, and no James in the room anywhere. Confused, she had looked out in the common room to see if he was studying, but they had all the same classes and no exams were coming up anytime soon. She had tentatively called out his name seeking to know where he was.

There was no answer.

So, she had decided to wait in his room. He couldn't be long, he must be with his mates or something.

Lily wrung her hands a bit, and her leg began to bounce up and down in nervousness. What if something had happened to him? She knew that his mates and he would leave the Hogwarts' grounds without permission. She didn't know how they did it, but she knew they managed it somehow. Lily also knew that James was not stupid. He wouldn't leave the grounds with the increasing Death Eater threats lately and the Dark Lord making random appearances in Muggle and Wizarding towns alike.

Lily's nightmare came back to her full force, and she began biting her nails. A nervous habit she had picked up from Petunia when she was 5.

From the common room, Lily heard the portrait slide open. Her eyes widened in fear and she ran to close James' bedroom door. She grabbed her wand from the bedside table she had placed it on and ran behind the bed, pointing her wand at the door.

She could hear footsteps padding their way down the hall to the room. The door opened slowly, and the light turned on. Lily shrieked and almost yelled out a hex when she saw her familiar head of unruly black hair, and the warm eyes of her boyfriend: James Potter.

He walked into the room and discarded his shirt. He jumped a little as he noticed the frazzled red-head on the other side of his bed.

"Lily?"

"_James."_

Lily tossed her wand onto the bed as she hopped onto and over it and ran over to James leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

"_Ah…_ Lils… ouch…" James hissed, but wrapped his arms around Lily nonetheless.

Lily lifted her head from the crook of James' neck and looked at his face. It was bruised and scratched. Her eyes trailed down his neck to his chest. The same afflictions covered his skin there, too.

Lily traced the beginnings of a bruise that was developing on his collar bone. It was the ugly pinkish purple, the color before the blackish-blue that would take over in a few hours.

James hissed again and bit his lip.

"James… what happened to you? I knew it… you left the grounds! And… and I was afraid that… _they_… are you alright? Did you get any of them? What happened? Tell me." Lily's hands frantically traced his skin, trying to find every last injury on James' beautiful body.

James carried Lily over to his bed and sat down. Lily was still straddling him, her legs wrapped around his waist. Lily carefully placed her hands on each of James' pectoral muscles, her thumbs caressing him. James closed his eyes and reveled in Lily's ministrations.

"Tell me, James. Where were you?"

James opened his eyes and gazed into Lily's.

"I wasn't in any danger. I was still on the grounds… kind of. Er, for most of the time."

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"Tonight was a full moon, Lily. And you should know… I should tell you… that Remus…"

"…Is a werewolf."

James gaped at Lily is surprise.

"How…"

"I've known since third year. Don't worry, James, Remus knows I know, too. I wouldn't treat him any differently because of something that isn't his fault."

"You're one of the few these days, Lils." James' eyes shone with affection and relief as he looked at Lily's face.

"That still doesn't explain what happened to you, though."

James gulped. Lily watched his Adam's apple bounce in his throat.

"Well, you see, Remus is a werewolf, as you know. But what you _don't _know, is that my mates and I… keep him company on full moon nights."

Lily's eyes widened, her gaze piercing into James' eyes, which looked down.

"Are you meaning to tell me, James Potter, that you purposely stay with a transitioning werewolf, then…_ keep him company_ while he's a werewolf, knowing perfectly well that _if he bites you,_ you'll turn into a werewolf, or worse yet, he'll just _kill you?"_

"It's not like that Lily. We're…" James took a deep breath. "We're not _human_ when we're with him."

"You're… not… hum- you're an animagus."

"Yes."

"Registered?" Lily asked even though she already knew the answer.

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"Dumbledore knows."

"Where do you go?"

"The Forbidden Forest… sometimes. And the Shrieking Shack. It's not haunted. Dumbledore spread that rumor. It was built for Remus. The Whomping Willow was planted for him, too." James shrugged.

There was silence between them as Lily processed this new information and James waited, dreading her reaction to it. It surprised him.

A tiny smile graced Lily's face and she leaned her forehead against James'.

"You're such a great friend to him, James. I'm proud of you."

James leaned forward and pecked Lily on the lips.

"I thought you'd be angry, completely explode at me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted to wait until…"

Lily placed her finger on his lips.

"You don't have to explain, James. I understand. I know you would've told me when you were ready. I guess that time came just a bit earlier than you wanted it to."

James smiled with Lily's finger still placed on his lips. He playfully nipped her fingertip. Lily drew her finger away and mockingly glared at him.

James brought his arms around her back and pulled her in for an embrace. Lily buried her face in the crook of his neck. James rubbed her back soothingly, while Lily played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"What had you bothered, tonight, Love?" James asked. "You were in my room for a reason. Don't think it won't go unnoticed."

Lily tensed and James' grip instinctively grew tighter.

"Lils?"

"I had a nightmare. Death Eaters were attacking us. And then… and then the… _he_ came. And he killed… oh, James. He killed you. And then… he pointed his wand at m-me…"

Lily buried her face in the crook of James' neck once more. James rubbed her back with soothing circles.

"It was just a nightmare, Lils. I'm so sorry I wasn't here when you came in… and then I come in all bloodied up like… oh Lils. I'm sorry."

Lily nodded.

James continued softly, "Hey… you're okay. I'm okay. Alright? Look at me."

Lily looked up. James gave her a reassuring smile, and she couldn't help but smile back, the coldness of her nightmare seeping from her mind being replaced with the warmth only James' eyes and smile could give. She leaned her forehead against James'.

"Stay with me, tonight?" James asked.

Lily slowly lifted her head and looked at James square in the eye.

"You… you mean…"

James' eyes widened.

"N-no! Not like that… I mean… if you… then I… we don't have to… I just…"

Lily leaned forward and kissed him, effectively shutting James up.

When Lily drew back, she was content to see James' eyes still closed.

"Let's get you patched up and ready for bed."

James smiled and nodded.

Lily grasped her wand once more and set to work repairing the scrapes, cuts and scratches on James' back, torso, neck and face. She then made the bruises less prominent, and some went away altogether. James hissed his approval as the cuts stitched themselves up with new skin, and the bruises faded from existence.

Lily kissed each part of skin as it repaired itself. James' breath was becoming shallow and inconsistent.

"Lily… if you… _shit….."_

Lily kissed her way up to James' neck and stopped a millimeter away from James' lips.

"Now… about _that._ I… I want to, James."

James opened his eyes and stared incredulously at Lily, who was blushing profusely and refusing to look at him.

"Lily… Lils, look at me… please."

He coaxed her chin up to see her gorgeous eyes.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I want this, James."

James looked from one eye to the other. He couldn't see a single trace of doubt or fear. He leaned forward slowly and placed his lips on hers. Lily responded eagerly, pushing him back onto his mattress. James wasted no time in flipping them over so he was on top. He stopped kissing her for a moment.

"Lils, if it becomes too much… you can tell me to stop. I won't feel bad. Honest."

"Shut up, James." Lily grinned.

James grinned back and once again descended to kiss her.

They shared their first time with each other, the first time they had given their bodies to anyone. It was awkward at first, but then got better. Afterwards, Lily was asleep in James arms. James was thinking so hard, he was afraid Lily would wake up. But she didn't. She remained in a quiet, peaceful sleep, chest rising with each breath she took. Her dark red curls tumbled down her back and James absentmindedly ran his fingers through the silken waves.

The thoughts that James was having were borderline scary. He had never felt this way about anyone before. Lily was… something else entirely. It was like she was literally a piece of him. His other half. When he wasn't with her… he wasn't James Potter.

He wasn't sure he was ready to say it to her, it was too soon for that… but he was damn well ready to admit it to himself:

_I love Lily Evans. I always have._

**AN**

I'm not one for writing lemons. Never have been. Plus, I heard somewhere that if the content is not explicit in a book or story, it actually means more to the people who share that moment, like it's more special and more about love… I dunno where I heard it, but I remember it. Who knows.

Also, listen to the song "White Blank Page" by Mumford and Sons. It's such a great song, and when I heard it for the first time, I instantly thought of Lily and James. Nerdy? I guess. Do I care? Nope.

_**LiLy S.C.**_


	3. I'm Clean

"…**As well as your folly, and can you kneel before the king and say 'I'm clean, I'm clean'…?**

"I don't want to hear it, Potter."

"Lily, if you just stop and _listen…_ I can explain! It's not what you think…"

"I know what I saw. Don't try to convince me differently. You're an arrogant toerag, James Potter, and you always will be. I can't believe I thought you could change."

"Please, Lils. Just stop…"

Lily Evans was storming up the stairs to the shared Head's Dorms. She could not _believe _James Potter. This past summer, when she had first discovered who her Head counterpart would be, she screamed into her pillow for about a half an hour after receiving the letter. _She absolutely could not stand James Potter._ However, on the Hogwarts Express during the Head and Prefect meeting, James had surprised her with his maturity and responsibility. Apparently he would take this Head business seriously.

They had had a chat in the Head's common room that night as well in which James had convinced Lily that he had changed: he hadn't played a prank since the end of 5th year, he had actually started _studying _to achieve his high grades (as if he needed to study), he hadn't hexed anyone since the Snape incident after OWLS in 5th year…

And she had believed him.

But after what she saw during the Gryffindor Quidditch practice… well… she couldn't forgive him.

Snape and his friends had only been walking through the field to get somewhere else, a shortcut, if you will.

But James and Sirius had flown down and started attacking them, for, what appeared to be, _no reason whatsoever._

Lily had been watching from a window in the common room, and it appeared that James was back to his pranking, immature, Marauding ways.

Probably because he had been hanging around with Sirius _way _more since becoming accustomed to the Head's schedules. The beginning of the year had been difficult. Neither James or Lily could really see any friends for lack of time to actually have a social life. But that had changed in early October once they got everything figured out and organized.

"LETTUCE SMORGASBORD FOR FLOBBERWORMS!" Lily shouted to get into the Heads' quarters.

"LILY!" shouted James. He only had so much time to reach her before he would be shouting to her through her door.

What Lily thought she had seen was completely wrong and now she was overacting in regards to something that didn't even happen.

James had been directing his Quidditch team, as it was Gryffindor practice time on the field this past afternoon. Without warning, Snape and some Death Eater wannabes had marched onto the field shouting threats and yelling vulgar, unrepeatable things about the Muggleborns on the Gryffindor team. They had been reaching into their robes to get their wands when Sirius, followed by James, had dove down and started disarming them and rendering them unable to curse let alone move. A quick disarming spell, followed by a body bind had left the Slytherins incapable of doing anything.

Snape, on the other hand, had blocked every single spell and jinx.

He had always had a talent for silent magic.

Sirius was then dueling with Snape while James took down names (Head duty). When Sirius let out a loud cry, James' head whipped around to see cuts slicing about Sirius' body, like some invisible man was using a knife to cut Sirius' body.

_No one does that to my brother._

James had come up behind Sirius and silently sent _Levicorpus_ at Snape, who, since he did not hear the incantation, (_Potter was always really good at wordless magic,_ thought Snape), Snape's feet were tugged out from under him and his body lifted into the air, like he was hanging from one foot. He had dropped his wand with the shock.

McGonagall had come out shortly after that.

Lily had missed that part, it seemed.

"LILY STOP!" James bolted into the room after crawling through the portrait hole.

Thank Merlin for his Quidditch training, because he was able to catch her before she made it to her room. James snagged her wrist and fell to his knees so that it would be difficult for Lily to pull out of his grasp and drag him along.

"Let go of me, Potter." Lily uttered in a deadly monotone.

"Not until you listen, Lily. And since when have we been back to surnames?"

"Since you broke my trust!"

"You don't know what you're talking about! What you saw… wasn't how it went. I didn't do anything wrong, Lily! I'm clean! I'm clean!"

"I know what I saw, Potter, no matter how you put it."

"You don't understand, Lily… or maybe you don't want to, because you're still hoping Snape will be what he isn't. He's a Death Eater in training, Lily. I can't change that. And neither can you."

"That doesn't mean you can go back to your old self and just jinx him whenever! I thought you had matured! I thought you were better than that!"

"I just told you, Lily. I didn't do it for fun. It's not like I _wanted _to jinx Snape! We were just practicing, and then he and his cronies show up and start to threaten and shout unforgivable things to Garrett, Aubrey and Paul… and then…"

"I don't want to hear it James! I know what I saw. Now let. Me. Go." Each word was enunciated with a pull of Lily's wrist from James' grasp. She succeeded.

James remained on his knees and Lily stomped to her bedroom. Before she shut her door, she once again turned to James.

"I don't know if I can trust you, James Potter." And the door slammed.

"I don't know if I can trust you either, Lily Evans." Muttered James.


	4. Giving Up

"**But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart?"**

"Prongs, I don't know what you let her push you around like that. I've never seen anybody take as much shit from a girl as you do from Evans."

"That's because, Padfoot, you enjoy the bachelor life and focus on the entire ocean of fish instead of picking a certain type of fish and sticking with that one. It depends what your tastebuds like… I for instance, enjoy a flaky, fried sunfish."

"Wormy, must everything be about food? Even your analogies?"

"You know Wormtail. He rarely has anything on his mind except food."

"Right you are, Moonykins. Now. Back to the problem at hand: Prongsie ol' chap, really. Why is it about Evans that has drawn you in like a hook on your lip, keeping on with Peter's analogy?"

"I didn't say anything about a hook…"

"Shut up."

James shrugged. He and his mates were sitting under their tree by the lake after a recent episode with Lily Evans. James had thought they were becoming really good friends this year because they had to work together and be Heads and all that. They had been getting along really well, even better since Lily discovered what had actually happened that day on the Quidditch Pitch. At first, James thought Lily was just being nice because she felt bad about accusing him, but lately he had been thinking it was because there was s a little something more. He had been confident that Lily would accept a date with him, at least give him a shot.

He had been dead wrong.

"_So, Lily… I've been thinking… would you consider us… you know… friends?"_

_Lily had looked up from the week's Head paperwork. She brought her quill to her mouth and started to tickle her lips slightly._

"_Er… yeah. I guess. We've been… you know… decent towards each other. Talking even when there's no Heads' work to be done. And we don't fight much. So yeah. I would consider us friends."_

"_Do you trust me?"_

_Lily looked up at him again, this time with wide eyes. She thought for a bit._

"…_Yes."_

"_Then… would you… do you think you could… give me a chance?"_

"_A chance? To do what?"_

"_Would you go on a date with me?"_

_Lily's face fell._

Not this again.

"_James… I… you still feel that way? I didn't… I… I can't. I don't want to ruin what it is we have… and we have to work with each other all year. I wouldn't want to complicate things. I don't feel the same, James."_

"_You don't have to feel the same! Not yet! Just give me a chance! Lily… I've been asking you for 4 years! Do you think this is some sort of sick joke? I don't know why I have these feelings. I don't know why it's you. But I have them, and it is you. Humor me. Go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend. Please."_

_Lily seemed to be getting very nervous and agitated. _

"_No. I'm sorry James. I just… I can't."_

_And with that, Lily left the room._

Yes. He had been very wrong indeed. He had miscalculated her feelings. Just… it always seemed there was something more. It had been this way for years. James never truly believed her when she had told him she hated him. Something was building up between them. He could feel it, and he could see in her eyes when they spoke that she felt it too, just didn't want to give into it due to their past relationship. What would the student body think if suddenly Lily Evans was going out with James Potter after years of confessing to James that she hated the very ground he walked on? Hated the air he breathed, etcetera.

She cared about the image it would present. Evans was rock steady, goal-oriented, heart set. Going out with him would make it appear that she had given in. And Evans _never_ gave in.

She would never give in. She would never admit that there was something more between them. She would never confess her true feelings.

"You're right, Pads, Wormy. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's time to move on. Get it through my thick skull that anything between Evans and myself would be completely impossible."

"That's it, Prongsie! Take a look around you… Plenty of fish in the sea. Especially here at Hogwarts…" Sirius slapped him on the back.

" 'Atta boy, James! Don't let one woman rule you. Break free from the chains that are Lily Evans." Peter ruffled his hair.

"Whatever you think is right to do, James." Remus gave him a look that said _"This will be harder than you think."_

"I'm going to go tell her I give up on her. I will!"

"She'll see what she's missing out on!"

"Go get 'er! Dump her big!"

"Wormy…"

"What?"

"James can't dump someone he isn't even dating."

"I meant it in the manner of… I dunno."

"Have some toast."

"Thanks, Remus."

James had gotten up and was making his way to the Heads' common room where he knew Lily would be.

When he crawled through the portrait hole, it was completely silent. Lily was over in a corner writing frantically on a 2 foot long parchment. She was about 2/3 of the way through. Every once in awhile, she would stop, set her quill down, and look in a thick and dusty book. James approached very quietly.

He didn't want to startle her, so he went to the other side of the small table and sat down, folding his hands in front of him.

Lily glanced up, held up a finger, and finished writing the passage she had been working on. Setting her quill into the ink bottle, she tucked her loose hair behind her ears and gave James her undivided attention.

"Was there something you needed, James?"

"Uh, as a matter of fact, yes. I need to tell you something very important. You'll like it, I promise. It's not what you think."

Lily visibly relaxed.

"Lily… I've had feelings for you for years that…"

Lily sighed loudly.

"James… you said it wasn't…"

"Just let me finish! I've had feelings for you for years that you obviously have not and will never return. So, I did some thinking today. And this seems the right course of action. I…" James suddenly felt really hot.

"You… you don't have to worry about me asking you out anymore. I… I'll leave you alone." His eyes were starting to sting, but he refused to show anything other than indifference.

Lily's eyes were shining as well, though he couldn't figure out why.

"I give up. But… I just want to ask… why was it so wrong that I had feelings for you? Where was my fault in trying to go after you? Why? Just answer me that, Lily, and I'll leave."

Lily had millions of thoughts going through her head.

_He's giving up? Is this for real?_

"I… I can't answer that James."

James stood up, placing his palms flat on the table in front of him. He looked Lily directly in the eyes.

"Why? Why can't you answer that? Don't you think that after all these years, when I finally decide to leave you alone, that I deserve to know why I wasn't worth your time?"

A tear made its way down Lily's cheek.

"I just… I don't know. It's not that you weren't… it's that… I finally… just leave James. Please. I can't answer your question because I don't know the answer. Please, go. I need to finish this essay."

James stood straight up and took a deep breath. This was it. This was goodbye to Lily Evans. Goodbye to any hope or dream he had ever had of being with Lily Evans.

"Well then. I'll leave you alone."

Lily knew that had more than one meaning.


	5. Swelling Rage

"**Her white blank page and a swelling rage…"**

_Lily walked into her room after hearing what James had to say about giving up on her._

_She still couldn't believe it. James had given up. He had _given up _his chase. The chase that had been going on for years and years. Lily felt like a new person altogether. No James Potter!_

_She walked over to her bed and flopped down, a large grin adorning her face._

_No James Potter._

_No… James._

_James._

_Lily wasn't sure how she felt about this new life without James._

_Suddenly there was a knock on her door, and without waiting for her to give permission, the door swung open, revealing James._

_What?_

_James strode over to Lily like she was his purpose in life. He came all the way to the side of her bed and stood there. Lily had not moved, just followed his form with her eyes until she had to physically look up at him standing right next to her._

"_What do you want, James? I thought you had given up."_

_James' eyes smoldered with… Lily wasn't exactly sure what._

"_I lied."_

_And then he was on top of her, wasting no time in shoving his tongue in her mouth._

_Lily should have been angry. After all, it was a dream come true that James was finally going to leave her alone._

_But this was not leaving Lily alone._

_Lily's hands dove into the unruly raven locks. It was so soft… much softer than she could have ever imagined._

_Tugging slightly, Lily brought James' face as close as it could possibly get. Her mouth devoured his lips, taking in as much of him at once as she possibly could._

_To hell with James giving up on her. She didn't want him to. This was…_

_This felt like they were meant for each other._

_Lily tugged James' shirt off, and he sat up a bit, still straddling her to make it easier to pull off. He didn't stop there. Getting off of Lily, he took her hands and pulled her up. Lily took his hands and placed them in his lap and then commenced taking her shirt off._

_As soon as it was off, James dove onto her again, but instead of kissing her mouth like she wanted him to, he kissed his way down her throat stopping just as he got to her breasts. He lifted his head a little bit, taking in the sight in front of him. Lily desperately wanted him to do something…_

_James kissed his way back up her throat, placed little kisses along her jawline and paused just above her lips._

"_I could never give up on you, Lily Evans."_

_Lily could feel every word he said being brushed against her lips._

"_I'm glad you didn't, James."_

_And they were kissing again as if their very lives depended upon it._

_James' hand reached to Lily's back, Lily lifting herself a little in order to assist him. As James unsnapped her bra, Lily's legs wrapped themselves around James' muscular torso. James smiled wickedly, and Lily returned the expression._

_Lily's hand brushed her way down his chest, over his fit abdominals, and to the belt buckle of his jeans. It was easy to undo the belt. Whipping it off to nowhere, Lily's hand then fumbled with the button and zipper. Then, James…_

HOLY MERLIN!

Lily shot up in her bed, sweat dripping down her face, and certain parts of her body tingling in the most delicious ways.

What the bloody _hell_ had that been all about?

Lily's room was dark. Her curtains were still open, and she was still dressed in her school uniform minus the robes.

Bringing her hand to her forehead, she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart.

Wow. Bloody spectacular _Merlin_… that dream… it felt real.

Hand groping for her wand on the bedside table, Lily finally felt the familiar wood under her fingers and grasped it, giving it a swish and pupils retracting severely as sudden light filled her room. Finally, her eyes adjusted and she hopped off her bed and stretched a bit. Checking her watch, she found that it was a little after 10 o'clock at night. The Heads didn't have rounds tonight, and that was all well and good. Lily wasn't sure she was ready to deal with James after what happened earlier in the day and especially after starring with him in her very own R rated romantic dreams.

Lily felt so confused. James had told her that that was it. He was done. Completely finished with her.

Why did she feel so uneasy?

Shouldn't she be… relieved? Happy?

Instead, she felt… empty. Hollow.

Lily didn't like this new feeling.

Then Lily became angry.

_Why in the bloody name of Merlin was she feeling like this?_

It was only James ruddy Potter! It wasn't as if the world had ended!

_But her world had._

No! It hadn't! James was finally going to leave her alone! Something she had wished for for the longest time.

Smile, Lily.

Nothing happened.

Lily unceremoniously plopped right back down on her bed and brought her face to her hands.

She was sad.

She was angry because she was sad.

Why was she sad?

James Potter.

That's why.

Lily stood up and walked over to her dresser.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror.

What she saw was not Lily Evans.

Did James Potter have that much of a hold in her life now that without him, she wasn't Lily Evans?

It couldn't be.

She had hated him for the longest time, and finally when they had come to be friends…

No. That wasn't hate.

Lily loved him.

Lily Evans _bloody _loved James Potter.

James bloody Potter.

And now it was over and there was no chance.

No chance in hell.

It was over.

And that's why she felt like this.

Lily's rage swelled until it was uncontrollable.

She had wasted all this time thinking she hated him.

She had been lying to herself.

With a quick, strong sweep of her arms, everything that had been on top of her dresser: books, plastic toiletry bottles… flew onto the floor, crashing and spreading everywhere.

And Lily dropped down to her knees and bawled.

_Fine. If that's how he wants to play… bring it on, Potter._


	6. The Brink

"**You did not think when you sent me to the brink… the brink…"**

It had been a frightfully peaceful Sunday afternoon. The air was crisp and smelt of crushed autumn leaves. The sky was a crystalline blue with white puffy clouds in the sky. The sun was actually shining today as well. Looking out the window, one could see the rolling landscape of the Hogwarts grounds where one could see the large Black Lake, the hazy line of the Forbidden Forest, the small little cottage with smoke pouring out of the chimney that was Hagrid's Hut.

Yes, it had been very peaceful.

Too peaceful.

Which was what was making Remus Lupin rather anxious. He had not seen his friends all morning. Since breakfast. He hadn't seen James at all since yesterday morning by the tree when he had told them that he was "giving up on Lily Evans."

Remus snorted as he remembered this comment.

Right. James Potter give up on Lily Evans.

_That_ would be the day.

Remus adjusted his position on the window seat. With the window open because it was such a lovely day, Remus had been reading all morning and for part of the afternoon.

It had just occurred to him that he had been alone for all that time.

Not seeing the Marauders for a period of time, when one was a Marauder, meant one thing.

A prank.

On him.

Brilliant.

Remus sighed. What would it be this time? A hallucination of a giant chocolate bar that would only move just centimeters beyond his reach when he went for it?

Plastic wrap outside the door when he tried to exit the room, and a camera flash going off right when he ran into it?

Being followed from behind and having Sirius under the Invisibility cloak and dropping fake piles of poo from Zonko's wherever he went?

Remus had no idea what was in store for him.

He was pondering other ideas when suddenly, Sirius opened the door and walked in.

He was soaking wet.

Remus held in a laugh.

"Er, what happened to you, Pads?"

"Wormy and I decided to take a stroll on this wonderful day. And since you were nowhere to be found, probably in Wonderland like that wench Alice you're reading about, and James has been MIA since last night, it was just the two of us. Pete thought it would be funny to push me into the Lake."

"Always the element of surprise, Wormy has."

"Indeed. Impressive for such a large fellow. Now I must get to changing my clothes."

Sirius walked over to his trunk and opened it.

"What the BLOODY hell!"

"What?"

Sirius scooped into his trunk and pulled out a handful of shredded cloth and watched it flutter to the ground as he tilted his hand.

"What in Merlin's name is that?"

"My clothes. Or what remains of them. Well played, Wormy. Well played."

"What, did he just come in with scissors?"

Sirius scooped the rest of what remained of his clothes out of the trunk.

"No idea. I mean… he… OH MY GOD!"

Sirius yelped and jumped back.

"What?"

"It's… I have no idea how… but… I… ohmygod. Look, Moony. _Look._"

Remus slowly stood from his seat and set his book on the bench. He cautiously looked into Sirius' trunk from a distance.

"Holy Merlin! How did _that_ get in there?"

A series of grumbly mumblies sounded from Sirius' trunk.

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure I drowned mine after third year."

"Who had a spare copy of their _Monster Book of Monsters?_"

"Ohmygod get it out, Moony. Do something. Quickly. It still looks hungry."

Suddenly, the Book leapt out of the trunk and started to chomp its way towards Remus and Sirius.

"MERLIN I DIDN'T KNOW THEY COULD LEAP!"

"NEITHER DID I!"

"Get on the bed! Something! Where's your wand?"

"Where's yours?"

They both looked at each other, then over at the dresser.

Both their wands sat on the counter.

"Oh, shit. We're gonna die. I didn't know it would end this way… I'd rather be killed by like…" Sirius looked around the room, "That curtain or something."

"One never knows. You may still suffer death by drapery."

"Not if this bloke has anything to say about it."

"What do we do?"

"You should… pet it. And then I'll run out the door and call for help."

"As it feasts on my arm?"

"Sacrifices must be made, Moony."

"Thanks, Pads."

"No. Thank _you _for your chivalry, brave Moony."

"I'm not going to do that."

"I thought you wouldn't."

15 minutes passed, and still, the Book eyed Sirius and Remus like they were two drumsticks.

Sirius and Remus had taken to hugging each other and looking warily at the Book.

"What do you think it's thinking?"

"Er, probably what it's going to pick its teeth with when it's done with us."

"Oh, Merlin. If I could live another day…"

They heard the door open, and Peter walked in.

"What are you two lads up to?"

Remus and Sirius just looked at Peter like he was nuts.

The Book, on the other hand, now had its attention focused on Peter. If Remus and Sirius were drumsticks, then Peter was the prize ham with honey glaze.

A series of grumbly mumblies emanated from the Book and it clamped its way, rather quickly, toward Peter.

Peter just eyed it in horror.

Being the calm one, Remus stated: "Uh… run, Pete."

And run, Peter did. Peter screamed as he lunged out the door, the Book not far behind.

"I was not aware that Peter could emit such a pitch."

"I think he found a new note. Let's call it H."

"Why H?"

"Because A through G are already notes."

"Oh. I see."

"Shall we get down now?"

"Yes."

Remus ran over to the door and shut it. Sirius wiped his brow.

"I thought we were goners."

"As did I."

They both fell onto the bed, sitting.

"Would you like me to fix your clothes?"

"Thank you, Moony. I would very much appreciate that."

Remus stood up to get his wand. With a wave, Sirius' clothes began to sew themselves back together, fold, and plopped back into his trunk.

"Looks like Peter's prank backfired on him."

"I wonder if the poor blighter is still alive."

A high pitched scream came from the common room.

"It appears he is, but only just."

"Someone should help him."

Neither Sirius nor Remus stood to help.

The door opened. Instead of seeing a Peter with ragged clothing and bitemarks all over, they were given an even more pathetic sight: James walked in, looking as if he still had not showered since the other day, in the same clothes they saw him in yesterday morning.

"Blimey, Prongs! What happened with you?"

James said nothing, but made his way over to what would have been his bed if he hadn't been made Head Boy.

He flopped unceremoniously, face down, onto the pillow and mattress.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then at James.

"Prongs?"

"."

"In English, Prongs."

James lifted his head. "I did it. I told Lily I was done."

"Bravo! How did she take it?"

"How are _you_ taking it?"

James just looked at his friends, then at the ground.

"She didn't even care. She told me to leave. Better things to do, I suppose."

"Well, what did you expect, Prongs? Lily bawling her eyes out because you left her? Crawling back on her hands and knees begging you to keep stalking her?"

"I don't know what I expected, Pads. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Stop being depressed, for one. It's only a girl. There'll be others."

"Not like Lily."

"Maybe better than Lily."

James looked as if he had been stupefied.

"What?"

James stopped speaking.

Another scream was heard from the common room. It abruptly stopped.

Remus, Sirius and James could hear periodic _thuds_ as something climbed the stairs.

The door, which was open a crack from when James had come in, opened a little.

The _Monster Book of Monsters_ peeked in. All three of them froze, waiting to see what it would do next.

Without even seeming to notice the three Marauders, the Book hopped over to Sirius' trunk, still open, and hopped in, stirring up some more clothes to make a sort of nest. It turned in a circle a few times, then lay still. After about a minute, quiet snores could be heard.

Sirius stood up slowly and walked over to the trunk.

He poked the Book.

Nothing.

He placed his hand flat on the face of the Book.

The Book's eyes opened. Sirius drew his hand away.

The Book just looked at Sirius.

Sirius brought his hand back down and stroked the Book between its beady eyes.

The Book's eyes fluttered and it began to purr, snuggling closer to Sirius' hand.

"Erm… wow."

"Mates, I'm calling him Chester."

"You're keeping it?"

"Yes. Good boy, Chester. You just sleep now."

"Can we get back to the issue at hand?"

"What?"

"James."

"Ah, yes. Prongs, just because Lily didn't react, doesn't mean you should be antisocial, depressed, lifeless and smelly. At least take a shower. Good Merlin, lad."

James didn't seem fazed at all.

"I'm going to move in here. Is that alright with you guys?"

"Of course. As long as you need."

"I just can't stand to see Lily right now. I'm empty. I feel as if my heart has been ripped from my chest."

"As long as you need, Prongs."

* * *

><p>Two weeks passed.<p>

James hadn't said much at all. He had to be reminded to eat, shower, go to class, everything.

Sirius had to take over Quidditch practices, since James had seemingly forgotten his captain duties.

Remus did rounds with Lily. James refused to see her.

One night, Remus and Sirius were down in the common room by the fire.

Unbeknownst to them, Lily had crawled through the portrait hole in search of James. She was worried. She barely saw him.

Walking into the room, Lily saw both Sirius and Remus on the couch. They were talking.

Lily crept a little closer to hear what they were saying, but as to not be noticed.

"He's at the brink, Moony."

"The brink of what?"

"Insanity. Going crazy. Giving up his own livelihood. Just the brink of everything."

"He certainly has not been himself since he gave up on Evans."

"That bitch. She doesn't even care what she's doing to him. Selfish, callous, apathetic witch. What was she thinking? She wasn't! That's what!"

"Calm down, Sirius. It's not Lily's fault."

"It is. Without Evans in his life, James has resorted to being a shadow of his former self. I miss Prongs, Remus. I miss my brother. If I could give Evans a piece of my mind…"

"Maybe Lily feels… I don't know… different. Can you imagine if suddenly someone that was pestering you for all these years suddenly left? How do you think Lily is feeling?"

"She's probably celebrating."

"I don't know. I've seen her. She's not looking so good herself."

"Who cares? Serves her right. Taking James' heart and squeezing it to a pulp. I should sic Chester on her."

"Now, we both know that wouldn't work."

"He ate Peter."

"No he didn't."

"Almost."

"Well, let's just see what happens. Who knows… this could all turn out for the better."

Lily had tears running down her face. That's why she hadn't seen James. He was as empty as her.

She had to fix this. She quietly left the common room, leaving Remus and Sirius to their conversation.

She was going to fix this. She had to, for both hers and James' sakes.

She was on the brink as well, after all.

**AN**

Hey Lovies! Posted a little earlier! Only a few chapters left!

I hope everyone understands the timeline, here.

The first chapter happens a ways into the future, when Lily and James are together. The second chapter happens BEFORE the first chapter. From chapter 3 on it is in chronological order. I just wanted to clear that up for anyone who might have been confused.

Read and Review if you wish!

**_Lily S.C._**


	7. Attentions and Affections

"**You desired my attention, but denied my affections…"**

After sitting in her dorm the entire weekend crying, eating chocolate to sooth her crying, remembering why she was eating the chocolate in the first place and starting to cry again, and after loads and loads of thinking on her part, Lily came up with a single conclusion:

She didn't want James Potter to give up on her.

But he told her he had.

This was an issue.

Lily had decided that it should be her turn to pursue James, and at the same time, see if he really _had_ given up on her. To do this would be simple: flirt with James until he had to admit that he hadn't given up. Lily had reason to believe that it was hardly possible for him to give up so abruptly after pursuing her for years. This was her hypothesis, and she would test it out.

Oh, would she ever.

Monday came. Lily decided that throughout the week, she would increase the flirtatiousness a little each day until James cracked. It was time to put her plan into action.

Before entering the Great Hall, Lily unbuttoned her blouse a little bit. Enough to show a fair amount of her collar bone and a ways just before her cleavage started to show.

She walked into the Great Hall and sat just a few seats down from the Marauders. Remus was reading a book, as usual, Sirius was stuffing his face with eggs, as usual, and Peter was munching on toast, as usual. James on the other hand, was staring down at his plate, looking like he was trying to eat his food by just looking at it, or by osmosis. Sirius and Remus would glance up at their friend worriedly. James poked the eggs with his fork and stirred around the broken yoke.

Lily served herself some waffles and poured maple syrup on them. She had to get James' attention somehow…

The little porcelain pitcher the maple syrup was in gave her an idea. Pretending to be putting the pitcher back, she managed to drop it onto the floor, causing it to shatter and the pieces to spread in every which way from the center of the impact. The crash was enough to make the whole Gryffindor table look over at what had happened.

Lily didn't care that the whole table was looking at her. She was content that James was looking at her. Making a dramatic effort to get out of her seat, she bent down, letting James have a direct view down her shirt as she picked up the pieces, ignoring the fact that she was a witch and could have taken her wand out and with a swish, fixed and cleaned everything. This show was for James.

The white pieces were sticky with maple syrup as Lily picked them up and placed them in a pile. She glanced up from under her lashes to see that James was still looking at her. _Good._ He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her chest. Lily finished cleaning up the pieces, then took out her wand and fixed the pitcher. Getting back into her seat, Lily looked over and caught James' eye. Then she winked. James blinked a couple of times and shook his head, unsure of whether Lily really just did what she had just done. His pants were feeling a bit tight.

_Merlin, she's killing me…_ _and it's only been a weekend. This will be more difficult than I thought. _

James decided to up the stakes of his decision of giving up on her.

No more looking at Lily Evans, no matter what.

Especially when her shirt was so… _stop._

With that decided, James began to eat his eggs.

Lily smiled to herself.

_Her plan was working._

Tuesday came after a rather long Monday, in James' opinion. He couldn't stop seeing Lily in his head. Especially after her display in the Great Hall. Sure, he wasn't looking at her physically, but mentally… he was ogling her.

Lily had a great plan for Tuesday. She sprayed some of her scented hairspray that kept her hair soft, but made it smell like strawberries. She knew James had a thing for her hair. This was for Transfiguration. He sat directly behind her. She knew he would smell it.

After breakfast, a few classes, then lunch, it was finally time for Transfiguration. Lily smelled her hair. It still smelled as strongly as it had that morning.

She took her seat and brought out her quill and parchment, getting ready to take notes. McGonagall wasn't in the classroom yet, only a few students.

About five minutes to class, 3 of the 4 Marauders came in. Sirius sat down by Marlene McKinnon, his latest quest, and Remus and James took their seats behind Lily. Lily reached back and pretended to comb through her hair to detangle it, really wafting it so the smell would reach James. She heard an intake of breath as James sniffed.

_Oh, Lily Evans' hair would be the death of him. _James had always loved Lily's hair. The unique shade of red it was, and how it would glow gold around the edges when she was outside in the sunlight. It smelled like strawberries. Whenever James smelled Lily's hair, he just wanted to bury his face into it.

It was like Lily was doing this on purpose… it wasn't fair. Days after he had claimed to have given up on her… and she was suddenly being… impossible to ignore.

James closed his eyes as the scent of summer strawberries filled his nose.

Remus elbowed him.

"Blimey, Moony. Ouch."

"Pay attention. McGonagall just walked in."

Lily smirked.

"Good afternoon, class…" McGonagall began using her wand to charm a piece of chalk to write down notes on the board. "Today we will be charming leaves into blankets. You see, if you are ever in a situation where you are lost, have no idea where you are, it might be necessary to…" she continued.

The lesson progressed until McGonagall had explained the origins of the spell, what it was useful for, the wand movements and the incantation.

"So, now each of you has a… Mr. Potter… what are you doing?"

Lily felt a bit of her hair being lifted up and brought to James' nose. It was instantly dropped.

"Er, nothing, Minnie. I… uh…"

"Mr. Potter. Can you tell me the incantation to this specific transfiguring?"

"Strawberries." James instantly blurted. "NO! I mean… um… it's er…"

"5 points from Gryffindor. Pay attention, Potter. Miss Evans, would you kindly remind Mr. Potter the incantation to the spell?"

"Certainly, Professor."

Lily whirled around slowly in her seat and looked at James. She leaned in slightly, coming within inches of James' face.

"_Foliis Calorem_," she whispered seductively, licking her lips and glancing at his. Then once again she winked as she turned around.

James was pretty sure he would die.

The rest of the week passed in pretty much the same manner. James couldn't sleep at night, Lily filling his thoughts. He could NOT get her out of his head.

Wednesday, she had been in the library as he was working on his Transfiguration essay, made 4 inches longer than everyone else's because he "hadn't been paying attention." It was all Lily's fault, really. He could feel her eyes on him. He would glance up, and there she was, staring unabashedly at him, a knowing smirk on her face and her quill by her chin. Merlin, she looked sexy.

Thursday, during dinner, she had sat next to him at dinner, claiming to want to talk to Remus. They had chatted throughout dinner, but Lily's leg had remained pressed against James'. Every time she had placed her hands back in her lap, she would "accidentally" brush James' thigh with her fingers. James could barely eat, and was breathing very hard, biting his lip.

Now it was Friday night. They were doing rounds, and Lily's hand would "accidentally" brush against James' hand. It took all James' willpower not to grab her hand and hold it. Lily would sometimes walk ahead to check a broom closet for late night snoggers. James considered going up behind her and pushing her into one and having his way with her.

James was extremely confused. Lily hadn't seemed to be affected by him saying he gave up on her. However, the week after he had done it, she was… everywhere. In his dreams, wherever he looked, in his head… he couldn't rid himself of her.

He wanted her.

Lily dropped her wand, and crouched down to grab it. James examined her backside as she bent down, then brought herself back up again, glancing behind her at him.

Oh the things she made him feel.

_He. Wanted. Her._

To hell that he had given up on her. He knew it was a joke anyway. He couldn't give up on her. She was part of his life. Without her… well… he knew what it was like. He was bloody kidding himself if he thought he could let her go.

He caught up to her in no time. They began walking again, silently.

The tension between them crackled with electricity. James could barely control the animalistic urge in him to push Lily up against a wall and… do unthinkable things to her. Oh, what he would do.

Lily could see that James was struggling. One more hit, and she will have sunk the battleship. She knew exactly what she was going to do.

E 5. Grab a red peg, James. You're sunk.

Lily's hand brushed against James hand again, but on its way back, she moved closer to him and it brushed his thigh. Lily glanced up at James as she did this, and saw his eyes darken instantly.

_That was it._ He couldn't hold it in anymore. She was his. Now.

James turned on her, grabbed her shoulders and backed her against a wall.

"What are you playing at, Evans? It's only all a bloke can take… and I can't take much more."

Lily looked up at him, putting on her best confused and innocent look.

"Whatever do you mean, James?"

_She'd call him James… what was she playing at?_

His name coming out of her mouth, so innocently, so naturally, turned him on to no end.

He wrapped one arm around her waist and brought her body up close to his, every inch of them meshed together, pressing her harder against the wall. Her leg was in between his legs. The other hand he brought to the back of her neck. He brought their lips centimeters apart, and then waited.

Lily had not expected him to react like this. However, she found that she reveled in being this close to James… was intoxicated by his very presence. She wanted to give in. She did.

But this was an experiment to test her hypothesis.

James' mouth was open slightly, his eyes closed, his forehead against hers. Every breath he took, she felt across her mouth. His Adam's apple bobbed with every gulp, and he was breathing quickly.

"Lily…" he whispered, "What happens next is up to you…"

Lily glanced down at his lips, then back to his closed eyes. He looked so vulnerable and desperate. Lily brought her hands to his chest and lifted her head slightly.

Bringing her mouth to his ear she whispered into it.

"I knew you hadn't really given up." Then she licked the shell of his ear and pushed him away, continuing down the hall.

James placed both his palms on the wall in front of him, moving to his forearms. He pressed his hot forehead against the cool wall, catching his breath.

No. He hadn't really given up after all.

**AN**

Hello Lovies! One more chapter and thus concludes _**White Blank Page**_! I will not be able to update until Wednesday of next week, as I will be taking a long weekend vacation.

Then, all my focus will be going into my Percy Jackson fic, _**Of Sybils and Sunlight**_. Check it out if you want!

Read and Review if you wish!

Until next time,

_**Lily SC**_


	8. Truth and Life

"**Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life."**

Since the past week, James had been very confused. He had avoided Lily at all costs. He didn't know what to think. First, she spent her entire Hogwarts career despising him, and then, suddenly, out of the blue, she was flirting with him. And not only that… _she licked his ear._

What the bloody hell.

James was sitting with his back against the tree by the lake. It was dusk, and the first stars were coming out. Each speck of light that appeared reminding him how much closer it was getting to twilight, and after that, night.

He remembered in his second year, his mother had told him that if you made a wish on a star, the first star you saw, the wish would come true.

He had tried every night that year.

_I wish Lily Evans didn't hate me. Please let Lily Evans notice me…_

It hadn't worked.

But now, James thought… his mother hadn't really said _when _the wish would come true. Only that it would. Perhaps… perhaps the stars were finally listening to him and granting his wish.

Lily Evans certainly didn't hate him.

And she had been noticing him for as long as she knew him. He had made sure of that with various pranks and constantly asking her out.

James sighed and lay down in the grass, his arms behind him pillowing his head. It was rather dark now. He could see hundreds of stars and hear the lake waves sloshing against the shore. It was the most at peace he had been this year. Given, it was only October, but he had been stressed because of school, preparing for NEWTS, Head Boy duties, and now Lily being bloody impossible.

"Here you are, James… I've been looking for you everywhere."

James jumped out of his peaceful revelry and looked up, squinting.

Of course, he didn't have to see. He knew that voice anywhere.

"Lily. What brings you out here?"

"I brought your jumper. It's a bit chilly out here."

"Thanks." Now that she mentioned it, it was kind of cold.

"Can I sit down?"

"Be my guest."

James looked back out to the water where the half moon was reflecting on the surface, swaying with the water's movement, making the moon look like it was made of silver liquid.

"Listen, James… about this week… I'm sorry."

James looked at Lily.

"Sorry for what?"

"I bet I was confusing the hell out of you, not to mention leading you on and all."

_No shit _James thought.

"What's your game, Lily? I thought you didn't care."

"Didn't care?"

"That I told you I gave up on you."

"I didn't, at first. But then… it was like my world came crashing down on me…"

Lily refused to look at James.

"Your world?"

"I realized… after a lot of thinking, that you… you _need_ to be there for my world to revolve again."

"What are you saying, Lily?"

"I'm saying… well, I'm saying that I fancy you, James. I have for awhile. Just denied it. I was scared… scared that you would laugh, or say it had all been a joke. And after you told me you'd given up, I had to find out for sure if you meant it. With how you reacted the other night, I determined that you hadn't."

"I could never give up on you that easily, Lily Evans."

"I figured."

"Right."

Lily looked out at the lake again. They both remained quiet for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable, but peaceful. Something they both needed. It was if everything that could be said was in that silence, and they both knew it, too.

Lily glanced at James out of the corner of her eyes. He was still looking at the lake, seemingly content with just having her by him.

She reached out for his hand and grasped it.

James looked down at their entwined hands, his having curled around hers automatically, his fingers seeking the spaces between her fingers, where they fit perfectly. Then his gaze went to Lily's eyes.

"I'm glad you didn't give up, James."

"Me too."

They both started to bring their heads closer together. James was glancing down at Lily's lips, then back at her eyes quickly, licking his lips in anticipation. Lily had already closed her eyes, leaving it to James to make sure their mouths connected. He didn't fail.

At the first touch of lips, Lily's eyes flew open. It was like an electric shock to her. James' lips were so soft, yet firm in the kiss. His eyes had fluttered shut. Neither mouth moved… waiting for the sensation to become natural. It was so new. They didn't dare ruin this moment.

After about a minute, James opened his lips a little bit and took Lily's bottom lip in his mouth and sucked in a little. A gasp made its way out of Lily's throat, and her eyes shut once more, taking James' upper lip in her mouth.

As the moments went on, the kiss became more natural, more fluid. Lily didn't know when James had managed to slip his tongue into her mouth, but she wasn't complaining.

His scent filled her nostrils, becoming more prominent as the kiss continued. He smelled like a mixture of forest and cinnamon. It was a pleasant and calming aroma.

James' hands found their way around Lily's waist as he lifted her onto his lap. Lily curled her legs around James waist as she sat in his lap. Her arms wound around his neck as James' arms wrapped around her back and a hand grasped the back of her neck to bring her mouth closer to his and keep it there. He wasn't letting go anytime soon. It wasn't an out of control kiss, but one that was passionate, soul baring and loving. One that could continue, as if they were breathing. It wasn't the way a first kiss was meant to be at all, between two people. Instead, it was as if they should have been doing this ever since they knew each other. It was the kiss of two soul mates that had finally found each other.

Both James and Lily knew that they would be spending the rest of their lives together, now. After all, their lives had been intertwined since the day they had first met on the Hogwarts Express. Every emotion they had felt for each other, negative and positive, had meshed into one emotion: love.

Lily had finally lead James to the truth: she couldn't live without him. She needed him.

Along with this, James had finally found the truth within himself: he would follow her for the rest of his life.

And so it was.

Fin.

**AN**

Hey Lovies! This is it! The final chapter of _**White Blank Page**_. Thanks for everyone who reviewed, it always gave me more motivation to write another chapter. I really hope you all enjoyed this. I know I enjoyed writing it. Thanks again!

Much Love,

_**Lily S.C.**_

P.S.

Work will now commence once again on my Percy Jackson fic,_** Of Sybils and Sunlight,**_ the sequel to _**Of Apples and Discord.**_

Please, check it out! Enjoy, and happy reading!


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